Living with an unknown force

In all of the time that I’ve lived alone in this house, I swear I’ve closed more doors than I’ve opened.  I moved into the old house at the end of the street for a cheap place to live during college. My grandparents used to keep this just as an extra guest house, because they had more money than they knew what to do with. There was only one time where they actually stayed the entire night, so they aren’t missing anything by me staying here. It’s been about three months since I moved in, and I’m starting to see why they never got their money’s worth from this house.

It seems like every day something new happens that makes the hair on my arm stand up. Lights will be on that I never turned on, lights will randomly turn off, doors will open and close, the windows will be open, he sink will start running water. I always feel like someone, or rather something is there with me. Following me around like it’s my shadow, dark and always right behind me. After the first couple weeks I learned to ignore whatever it was that seemed to be haunting me. However, lately ignoring it wasn’t an option.

Eight days ago, a bunch of pictures of me fell off the wall when I was passing. All the frames and glass shattered, and cut a deep hole into my left ankle. Nothing was there to knock down the pictures, much less all of them at once. I’m just lucky that it was just my ankle rather than my stomach, face, or anywhere ever worse. Seven days ago the bathroom door slammed shut on my hand. Before when a door would close, it would slowly creep shut while screaming out a piercing creek. This time was different. This time it had a strong force behind it, like whatever it is that keeps doing this was angry. I’m not sure if my hand is broken or not, I’d rather not go to the doctor and have to explain where my cut and damaged hand came from. On the sixth day I woke up to a flooded room caused by my shower turning on it the night with the drain plugged. On the fifth I found a total of thirteen dead mice in the medicine cabinet. On the fourth day, I was surprised by the nice warm water from the shower head suddenly turned to a blistering hot attack that felt as if hundreds of tiny pins were being stabbed into my back all at once. When I tried to escape what felt like being burned alive, my shower curtain was caught. I tugged and tugged with all my might until finally it broke open and I became free. After that episode I laid on the ground and cried. Both from pain and exhaustion. There’s nowhere I can go, my parents are live on the other side of the country, my grandparents died two years ago, and I haven’t made any friends. At least none that would care enough about me to listen to what is happening without thinking I was just crazy. I was about to just give up until the next two days were peaceful.

The past couple days I’ve been so on edge that I don’t even know what to do with myself. I refuse to look in the mirror and see the mess I’ve become. The bags under my eyes are there to stay, my blue eyes are now complimented with red around it from them becoming so bloodshot due to the amount of crying and lack of sleep I’ve had lately. My back and arms were bright red and starting to peel from the burns I received from the shower. My long hair is now greasy and dirty, because I refuse to shower again, no matter how much I need to clean up. Tonight there’s supposed to be intense thunderstorms all throughout the night. I’ve heard so many times today that it’s the “calm before the storm”. I like to think they’re talking about the weather, but deep down know that this couple day break can be considered the same thing. I finally decide that I need to bathe, so I start the bath water. I only fill it up a couple inches, turn on some music and try to relax. In a way the rain is soothing to listen to. As soon as I start to become even slightly carefree the thunder shakes the house. The lights are starting to flicker. A small panic is starting to build inside the pit of my stomach. Then the lights suddenly go out completely. I am now alone in the utter darkness. The calm has now become the storm. I can hear the creaking of the bathroom door opening, so I just hold my breath. Maybe it’s nothing. Next thing I know my hair is pulled down and I can’t move. I struggle to try and break free, but somehow my hair has been caught in the drain, my head just barely above the water. Then the water turns on, the same temperature from a few days ago. Screaming is the only thing I can think to do. The water is rising, and I know it’s just a matter of seconds before my piercing screams are muffled by the water spilling over my face. I take one last breath and close my eyes. The already darkness, has turned to a different kind of darkness. My head is now completely underwater and my skin is burning. There’s nothing more I can do. My head starts to spin from lack of oxygen. This is it, whatever has been in my house the past couple months has finally taken over and won. I’m just a victim of whoever or whatever I’ve been living with.

Halloween Questions

The best Halloween costume I’ve had is my ninja turtle outfit in eighth grade. It was the girl version of the costume, but I still thought it was the most legit thing ever. A bunch of my friends all went as superheroes, so I instantly jumped on the ninja turtles. The best part of it was the fact that the shell on the back was like a backpack and had Velcro at the top so you could use it as your candy bag. That was the last year I at least kind of went trick or treating, and I was so proud of my costume.

The best Halloween I’ve had was the same year I was a ninja turtle. I was to the age where socializing was becoming a lot bigger of a priority. I had just quit gymnastics on the 28^th, so for the first time in my entire life I had free time. I was used to being in the gym over twenty hours a week, and not getting to go to sleepovers, parties, games, or anything really. So right after I quit I was just shocked at how much I had been missing out on. That weekend, a different person was having a party every night (at least what eighth grade parties consist of), and I got to go to all of them. Obviously since gymnastics had been my life all growing up, I was very scared that I made the wrong choice quitting, but that weekend showed me what all I had been missing out on, and all the things I was going to get to do rather than be stuck in the gym.

My favorite Halloween candy that I ever received was those big pixie sticks. There was always this one house in the neighborhood that would give out the ones that were like two week long. Those were my favorite things to get ever, because my mom hated them, and never would let me eat it all at once. So on Halloween night I felt very cool since that was the one time I was allowed to eat the entire tube of pure sugar. I always made sure to go to that house every year, even if I was trick or treating in a different neighborhood, when I came home I would make my mom take me to that house.

Comparing Music Choices

What music or songs remind you of your childhood?

For me, when I think of my childhood I think of Hannah Montana and High School Musical. Dancing around the house with my sister who was my best friend, belting out lyrics that THE Hannah Montana “wrote and performed”. Life was so much easier when our biggest worry was if Gabrielle and Troy were going to stay together or if the world would ever find out Miley was Hannah. Mrs. Stephens said that Rick Astly’s “Never Gunna Give Up” and Sinead O’ Connor reminds her of her childhood, while Kim from the attendance office said Pink Floyd, John Denver, Forner, and ELO brought back memories for her.

Who is your favorite singer or group or song and why?

Mrs. Stephens claims that she is obsessed with Maroon 5, which doesn’t surprise me as much as it should probably. I feel like that matches her personality perfectly. Kim had a very wide variety; her top three were Pink Floyd, Luke Bryant, and Iggy. When she said Iggy I couldn’t help to laugh a little bit, just because it’s not something that I would expect at all. For me, my top three are probably 5 Seconds of Summer, All Time Low, and State Champs. All three of them are more rock oriented, and amazing performers live. State Champs are more of a new obsession, while the other two have been someone I’ve listened to for a while, they just don’t get old.

What music reminds you of someone you love? Your child? Spouse? Parents?

Mrs. Stephens stated that “Thank You” by Dido was her and her husband’s song when they were dating, so that will always be special to her. Kim said that “children” by Allen Jackson was one of her personal favorites. For me, just 5sos in general reminds me of people I love. About 90% of my good friends live in different states from all over, but I’m still just as close to them as anyone else. I’ve met them all at concerts for the band, and they quickly became my best friends. It’s been about a year and a half since I met most of them, but there still hasn’t been a day where we don’t talk, even though there’s a nine+ hour distance between us. Every chance we get to go back to Chicago and all meet up again to see our favorite band, we take it.

Do you go to concerts? Which concerts are memorable to you? Why?

Mrs. Stephens said that Chicago was the best concert shes ever been to, just because they “had everything”. Not completely sure what “everything” consists of, but apparently they had it. Kim named a bunch of country artists, but for the most part she doesn’t get too excited over concerts. Me on the other hand, I go to concerts every opportunity I can. I honestly can’t even count how many I’ve been to just this year. The best ones are when they’re general admission. I don’t usually like being that close to people, but for whatever reason I love everyone being so smashed together, screaming out lyrics that we all love. I love the way music can bring total strangers together, and build relationships and friendships that last a lifetime.

What radio stations do you normally listen to in your car? DO you sing along?

Both Mrs. Stephens and Kim’s answers consisted of stations that resembled 96.5. They both shamelessly admitted that they love to sing along, everyone does. I was surprised by Kim, because she said she usually listens to 96.5 when I was expecting it to be a country station.

Which music or artist was “controversial” or “offensive” to some when you were growing up? Is any music offensive to you now?

Mrs. Stephens very quickly shouted out Ozzy Osburn, and that doesn’t surprise me at all. She mentioned the fact that she was terrified of him because of the rumor that he killed puppies at his concerts. Kim said Marilyn Manson and Twisted Sister.

Which music or artist do you really dislike or refuse to listen to?

Mrs. Stephens hates the 70’s because she finds them very annoying. Kim didn’t have an answer because she said she just doesn’t pay attention to names or anything if she doesn’t like them.

Music Questions

3. My music choice has changed drastically throughout the years. When I was little, the only music I would really listen to was Hannah Montana or High School Musical. As I got older, my music taste was still based around the artist more rather than the music. I went through a Bieber stage in middle school. I somehow transitioned to only listening to British artists, people like Ed Sheeran, Passenger, Lewis Watson, Olly Murs, The Wanted, Little Mix, etc. Basically if an artist or group wasn’t from the UK I would cross them off the list. Somewhere in early 2013 I found a song by All Time Low. That is what started my most recent phase. I’m now really into bands where they play their own music and their live show is amazing. I have so much more respect for people that can get on a stage and play their own music, rather than have other people do it for them, or have a bunch of production and background dancers and stuff. It makes it seem a lot more real to me.

5. My friends at school for the most part don’t listen to the same kind of music as me. They usually stick to whatever plays on the radio, and not that I have anything against those songs, but I just prefer to listen to my own music when in the car rather than have other people pick the same three songs and play them over and over. However, I have friends from all over the place that I meet at concerts. Those are the people that I talk to daily and feel like I completely relate to when it comes to music choice.

7. Without music my life would be crazy. Music is like my escape, whenever I get overwhelmed or upset I can just plug in my headphones and then it’ll distract me from whatever is going on. It truly has helped me through a lot.

8. I admire the music of Front Porch Step. There are tons of artists that I love, and admire the lyrics they put together, but lately Front Porch Step is who has impressed me the most. His lyrics are so raw and honest that you can feel everything he felt while writing the songs. He doesn’t have the filter that most people would have, he writes what he feels and doesn’t have any apologies.

9. One event that I connect to music was in Chicago of July 2013. I traveled there to see 5 Seconds of Summer do an acoustic show, but while I was there I met my best friends. They are from Tennessee, but they have become my best friends since that day. We talked every day and have traveled to see each other. They are what started all my friendships of people that live far away from me, and they mean the world to me. Without music, we wouldn’t even know each other, much less be able to bond considered that’s what we are talking about ninety percent of the time.

Keepin' it real cont.

27. It depends on the teenager, but for the most part teenagers are very hard on their parents. They will argue just about everything they say, they’ll do the exact opposite. They try to branch out on their own, when parents still try to control them.

29. My dad owns cabins in Arkansas, so we used to always go down there as a family. We would stay there and go on hikes, or go to the river, or find waterfalls, and do a bunch of outdoors stuff since we are all really interested in nature. We haven’t done it in a while and I kind of miss it.

Courtland Gas Station

            Everything changes. The town of Courtland had once been a destination stop along the one highway that ran through it. Small gift shops, grocery stores, and other small businesses stretched across both side of the road. If you took a back way, it led to a small neighborhood where everyone knew everything about each other. The little town was once filled with happiness and visitors loved to stop by. Courtland was known for having the small town, at home feeling. However, all good things have to come to an end. As the world started to modernize, and people’s interests shifted, the small town became less and less known as a place to stop and visit. Eventually all the small shops started closing their doors, and the residents of the town packed their bags. Before long, the town looked as if it was just a ghost town. Bigger and better highways were built, so even the highway became less traveled upon. The only thing left in the now abandoned town was the small, outdated gas station. Greg, the old, kindhearted man refused to give up. Courtland is where all his fond memories are, he was not going to leave. Since his wife passed away, he didn’t have to worry as much about money, so the fact that he brought in little to no income didn’t matter. Now whenever travelers came through, most just drive past an empty, sad looking town. However, the few that do stop for gas get a little look at what Courtland used to be like. Filled with good people and good memories. Greg knew that only he could keep at least the memory of Courtland alive, so he was going to do just that.

Window Poem (House)

I look out and see open fields with knee high grass

To the left is more emptiness, lots of room for freedom

Today I look out an there’s people; my cousins out enjoying the sunshine

I always wonder what it would be like to join them, but never do

Dinner will be ready in about an hour so there’s no point in getting dirty

The tall grass stretches for as far as I can see, there’s no escaping it

My cousins look extremely joyful, while I sit in my room alone

Gunther Gerzso - The self taught painter

 Gunther Gerzso (June 17, 1915-April 21, 2000) was the son of Oscar Gerzso, who was a watchmaker, and Dore Wendland. His father died at an early age so Gunther had to go live with his uncle, who's profession was owning a art gallery where lots of talented artist showcased their work. Through the art gallery, Gunther met Nando Tamberlani, a stage and costume designer for plays. They quickly became friends, and Nando gave Gunther inspiration to go into the same form of art. Sadly, his uncles gallery got shut down so Gunther lost a lot of his friendships that he had with artists of all sorts of varieties. He was forced to go live with his mom, but decided to attend school at the Cleveland Play House, where he expanded upon his stage and costume designing talents. Gunther quickly became known for his abilities when it came to designing, and was very successful in that area. Throughout the course of a few years, Gunther adopted the hobby of painting. With the encouragement of his wife (who was never named) and friend Wendland, he entered a few of his paintings into an art show, where two of his paintings were chosen. It was at that moment when Gunther realized that his true passion was with painting, and no longer considered himself a stage and costume designer, but a painter. Others still considered him as a designer, but after he kept painting more and more pieces, his role in the art community began to change. Most of his painting consisted of either anti-war pieces, or abstract pieces. His most famous artworks include the "Paisje Espejismo", "Figure in red and blue", and the "Paisaje aracaico". All his works just used standard paint as a medium. The thing that is most special about Gunther, is that he went to school for one form of art, but the one he is remembered for he was completely self-taught in and was mainly just a hobby.